Fifty Shades of Hoopla

It is likely that there are few people in the world who love to read as much as I do. However, it has become apparent that I may be the only person, with the exception of my best friend, who has the capacity to separate written fiction from reality.

Fifty Shades of Grey is a great book. I enjoyed reading it and would normally recommend it to others. Now, I'm not so sure. Since the boom of the Mr. Grey obsession, I have discovered that women are obtuse. "We" read a book and do what, ladies? We try our damnedest to bring the narrative to life. I am not saying this is necessarily wrong, for I too have fallen victim to the desire for my own Mr. Darcy. I have yearned for the literary male perfection that fills the pages of most fiction. Have you picked up on the key word yet? It's FICTION. One of the alluring and fantastic aspects of the written word is it's potential to transcend the ordinary. Who wants to pick up a book and read about the hum drum rushed nuptials that is the commonality in America? Compared to society's 15 minutes of shame marriages, the Christian Grey/ Anastasia Steele relationship seems ideal.

Well, I beg to differ. This story is yet another example of a girl who is lucky enough to be the exception, not the rule. I have nothing against BDSM and honestly, am all for it. Be that as it may, am I the only one who understands what really goes on in a dom/ sub relationship? To take it to the level that Grey did, he honestly wants to break Ana down. That is the appeal of having a submissive. Grey doesn't want to separate the activities in the "Red Room" from the way he treats his subs outside of the room. Here comes the cliche. Of course, Ana would change that about him. She brings out his desire for "hearts and flowers" and all things "vanilla." Yep, this is sweet and romantic and even banal. BUT, it isn't reality. Trust me, the men like Christian who need to take the Dom role to that extreme are warped. Grey was abused, orphaned, and in agreement with Ana, molested. My point is that in the real world there are Christian Greys but they are not willing to try for hearts in flowers and their baggage is too much for a hoard of subs to carry.

So, my problem does not lie in the narrative but in the growing public opinion. I loved the book. It was romantic, sexy, and the pithy banter is still buzzing my brain. But, when I closed the book, it's back to reality. The conception I hear from most about the book is this, "If men want a handbook on women, they should read Fifty Shades." Ha! Darlings, male brains do not work in this manner. They will read a little from this book and take from it this: "Ahh, so the key to women is they want me to beat their ass and tell them what to do." To quote my extremely intelligent best friend, "If women are going to be that stupid, they deserve whatever they get." Agreed. It's okay to fantasize. Open a book and let the pages be an escape. I do it every day. Just know that I am not being a pessimist but a realist when I say that I highly doubt you are going to find Christian Grey in the real world. By all means correct me if I'm wrong, but I know of no one who has found a 27 year old multi-millionaire, who is Greek god gorgeous, witty beyond measure, and willing to work through his tremendous qualms about women all because he found one woman who strikes his fancy. I believe in romance, epic romance even. Nevertheless, the lesson I'm still learning is one I wish to teach as well. Don't waste your time scouting for the fictitious Mr. Grey and miss out on the real thing.

Brandy Fisher
From HER ivory tower of realism.